![]() She scared you, didn’t she? The feeling of someone watching you, watching your every move, someone wanting to swallow you up and devour you the feeling of seeking a safe haven for solace the feeling of uncertainty, “What is she going to do next?” The feeling of not knowing yourself what to do next, “Should I run, should I stay should I give her a chance or just walk away before she eats me up or even worse yet – devours me?” “Is she going to hurt me physically?” (Think Lorena Bobbit or Jodi Arias guys.) The closest thing I can compare it to, guys, would be to think of any experience you may have possibly had with a “crazy lady” for lack of a better term. As a result, “women are better at judging risk while men are better at ignoring it.” A statement made and a topic discussed in the book, “ Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing” by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. This is primal wiring due to the fact that not only is she the prey, but the risk for her is three-fold:ģ) She risks catching or coming into contact with infectious diseases that men carry but do not always experience symptoms from, that can render a woman sterile ( Chlamydia) or leave her with cancer (via HPV exposure) years later (please, please, please always wrap it up guys).Ī woman risks a lot more than a man when mating – she literally puts her life in danger (cancer via HPV exposure) and she risks becoming pregnant, both of which require an increased need for caution. Women are not wired to be “crazy” guys - they are wired to be “cautious.” And that caution creates the need for questions that require answers - so she may weigh the “risk” involved because she’s the prey. And it’s this lack of understanding that causes men to label women as “crazy” or to throw out the good old standbys, “you think too much” or “you worry too much.” Let’s face it, men generally are not the prey in life, but rather are the hunter - and that causes a huge shift in perception. But I think that’s only because many men probably don’t take the time to even consider the concept let alone grasp the reality of that environment. I really don’t think that many men can fully grasp exactly what a woman faces when she steps out onto the dating landscape. Men, you need to take a walk on the wild side and ladies, you need to sit back, relax and enjoy the competition. I believe it helps to understand what the other is facing and to gain that understanding, you need to walk a mile in the others shoes. Predator or Prey, Risk Versus Reward: Take a Walk on the Other’s Wild Side And when men repeatedly successfully score wins out on their dating landscape, the very concept of dating can become associated with sport and gaming.Ī man’s successful conquests can fuel a strong desire for more faster while a woman’s unsuccessful losses can tend to fuel confusion and heightened anxiety. When a woman is repeatedly devoured emotionally on her dating landscape, the very concept of dating can become associated with negativity and stress rather than enjoyment. ![]() Men do not understand the risk that dating poses to women and women fail to recognize the fun and competition that dating poses to men. I believe it is this very dynamic, this misunderstanding of what the other is facing on their landscape, that causes a good deal of the relationship and dating heartaches we all experience at the hands of others. Look at the image above – notice the vast difference of each landscape? To have a bit of fun and create a visual perspective of the landscape of each, I might imagine that the dating landscape for man would generally look somewhat like a football field with a big trophy calling their name and beckoning them forward.įor women, I might imagine that their dating landscape would generally look somewhat like the Black Forest, thick and dark, hard to navigate, fraught with danger and perils at every turn, with the only thing calling their name being the safe haven of a cave and warm fire. Predator or Prey: What Does Your Dating Landscape Look Like? It is crucial that each understand what the others “dating landscape” looks like. ![]() And in order to form this understanding of one another, you need to realize the reality of the perspective that each is approaching dating with. When dating, it is very important – correct that – it is imperative that each gender form a proper understanding of the other. Not so fun, huh? This is why many men generally tend to be more confident of their success when dating while lots of women generally tend to be less confident of success and more fearful – it’s the landscape that each is facing. Sounds like fun, right? For women, the outcome can tend to be that of possibly being devoured, becoming the prize and suffering a loss. For men, the outcome is a conquest, a prize, a win.
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